¿Are you ready to do tomorrow's work?

¿Listo para hacer la trabajacion mañana?

As I handed my Dad his 50th birthday card, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said,

“You know, one would have been enough.”

I think there’s something wrong with the cactus I’m growing.

But I can’t put my finger on it.

A political cartoonist and a surreal artist enter a bar.
The bartender asks, “Is this satire or a dream?” They both just draw a blank.

Where did Noah keep his bees?

In the Ark hives.

How did the egg get up the hill?

It scrambled up.

doubting systems be like, "oh no, my headmates think we're actually a singlet"

How do you turn soup into jewelry?

Add 24 carrots.

Steven said to me "instead of killing that spider, why not take it out?" So I did and we went for a drink and it turns out he's a really nice guy. He's a web developer.

BTW: That's not really me. I take spiders out all the time. And flies. And anything else that the cats or I find crawling around.

Thanks to my brother for that.

Bonus #Joke
My friend saw the Liberty Bell once and said it's not all it's cracked up to be.

#Happy4thOfJuly !

(It's #HootinTootinTuesday again! Post some jokes or funny memes under this hashtag today, and bring lots of smiles to #Mastodon.)

Scottish humor

Where do books sleep?

Under the covers.

Among the many hacker tools available in the Debian distribution, figlet must certainly be the most devastating.

Why do bees have sticky hair?

Because they use honey combs.

I sat next to the duchess at tea
It was just as I feared it would be:
Her rumblings abdominal
Were simply abominable
And everyone thought it was me!